Sometimes really loving someone means letting go, to do what’s best for them.
I chose adoption out of genuine love for my son. Brittany
An unexpected pregnancy brings many questions and emotions. You have a big decision to make and it’s important you make an informed choice.
The option of adoption is often overlooked, but it may be the right choice for you if you wish to continue your pregnancy but don’t feel like parenting is an option. With an adoption plan, you can choose a family for your child.
Adoptions may be public or private; however, not all provinces allow private adoptions. Visit the Adoption Council of Canada for more information about specific provincial regulations.
- Public adoptions are facilitated by a branch of a province’s social services program, such as the Children’s Aid Society.
- Private adoptions are facilitated by a private adoption agency. The agency provides profiles of prospective parents, and the birthparent(s) select the applicants they would like to parent their child.
There are three private adoption options:
- Open Adoption: Birthparent(s) have contact with adoptive parents, and the level of openness can extend to phone calls, texts, or visits.
- Semi-open Adoption: Birthparent(s) have some contact with adoptive parents, but an adoption professional typically handles the communication.
- Closed Adoption: Birthparent(s) have no contact, and only non-identifying information is shared with the adoptive family.
The following are some common concerns or questions about adoption.
I couldn’t stand not knowing about my child.
- If you choose an open adoption, you have the potential for ongoing contact with your child.
It would be really difficult and embarrassing – people would see me pregnant and then judge me for giving my baby away.
- Some people might judge a woman for choosing adoption, and yet others might admire the decision. If you believe you are making the best decision for yourself and your baby, it will help offset the fear of what others might think. It is also important that you surround yourself with others who support your decision.
What if my child is abused or hurt?
- That’s a legitimate concern that every parent has. There are many safeguards that exist today to screen adoptive parents.
What if my child hates me for giving him up?
- The concern that your child may feel abandoned is valid. However, with open adoptions, the reasons for placing an infant are frequently communicated to adoptive parents and shared with the child. These reasons often reflect that the decision was made out of love.
I can’t go through that kind of pain.
- The pain or grief will be different for each woman and may be experienced with any pregnancy decision – whether to parent, place for adoption, or have an abortion. There will be a grieving process involved but there are people to support you during that time; many pregnancy care centres offer post-adoption support.
I am beyond grateful to my birth mother for choosing life for me. I will always hold her in such high regard and honour her for her choice in gifting me with the chance at a beautiful life. Jennifer
We want you to know –
- You don’t have to make this decision alone
- It’s normal to feel everything you’ve been feeling, the good and the bad feelings
- It’s ok to feel sad that things won’t ever be quite the same, but that doesn’t mean your life can’t be good
- This doesn’t define who you are as a person
- There are people who will help you and care about you
- This may change your future, but it doesn’t have to limit it
- No matter what you decide – you have value and you are loved