We build our dreams and make our plans, yet life can have a funny way of turning what we expected into an uncertain future. An unplanned pregnancy can be one of these twists of circumstances that can surprise, frighten, and daunt us as we face a new reality. Perhaps your pregnancy is one of the nearly 50% in Canada that is unplanned1.
Perhaps you are asking yourself a thousand questions as you determine what your next steps are, and whether you could embrace the future as a parent?
What will I do? How can I do it? What about my plans? I don’t feel ready.
With an unexpected pregnancy, plans, dreams, and hopes may feel suddenly impossible. Barriers and challenges can loom heavily. Many want to undo or run away to get life back on the path it was formerly on. Others will try to regain their footing on this new track, trying to find the answer to their next steps: Can I do this? Can I actually do this?
One option to an unexpected pregnancy is becoming an “unexpected” parent—embracing these new circumstances, and welcoming and raising a new life in this world. Genuine concerns may arise: finances, education, employment, and the practical logistics of parenthood. These real problems can be overwhelming and scary to address as one faces this new path.
Take heart:You are not alone. You can do this.
It’s important to take the time to explore the resources available that can build a support network and help in a parenting decision. Here are some resources that may help you find your footing and adapt your hopes and dreams into a bigger picture as a parent.
A personal network: Sharing the news with the baby’s father, or trusted family and friends, can be daunting but potentially very rewarding. Often, those close to you are willing to be involved and offer support as you navigate this journey. As the saying for raising children goes, “it takes a village”— so invite your village to join you.
Pregnancy care centres: Whether online or at a nearby location, a pregnancy care centre is a safe space to be informed, supported, and equipped in an unexpected pregnancy. They can help you process your situation, understand your options, and connect you with local resources and supports.
The local community: An important step is finding out what support is available in your local community. There may be moms’ groups, churches, and other organizations that offer practical help and a place to connect. As well, there are often government and community programs and resources that may alleviate some burdens. Help like subsidized daycare costs or access to care closets for everyday baby items can go a long way in making things more manageable.
Classes: It is normal to be overwhelmed by everything there is to learn about being a parent. Many communities and pregnancy care centres offer classes that can prepare you for the parenting journey, such as pregnancy and birthing education as well as parenting classes. This is also a great way to meet other moms and build new friendships.
Can unexpected parenthood be an opportunity?
Many people want to become a parent at some point in their lives, but according to their own plans, their own timing. An unexpected pregnancy’s timing may bring challenges. It can help to remember that circumstances can change, whether in a day or in a year, and so it’s important to not make decisions solely based on what’s happening right now in your life.
Embracing life’s strange twists and stepping up to the situations you are presented with can be hugely worthwhile. An unplanned pregnancy may be a surprising shift in plans and hopes, and – let’s face it – it requires personal sacrifice. Yet, as so many parents agree, it can be an immensely rewarding and transformative opportunity.
Courage in becoming something new.
If you’re experiencing an unexpected pregnancy and wondering if you can be a parent, know you are not alone. It’s ok to feel afraid, and it’s ok to feel overwhelmed; but know there are options and supports around you to help. You can walk through the trepidation into hope, and start planning a new future, adapting your goals and broadening your horizons. There will be challenges but also great possibilities.
Unexpected pregnancy and its resulting unexpected parenthood could be one of the most rewarding things to ever happen to you.
Do not feel you have to walk this journey alone. Get connected with support and resources. For more information and to connect with someone who can help, you can find a pregnancy centre near youor contact Online Care (online support).
February 2023 by Rebecca Peters There is a place for you If you aren’t sure or if you are wondering what to do about unexpected pregnancy, there is a place for you. There is a place for you. There is a place where you can stand bravely, hold onto your values, and reach out. That […]<p><a class="btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link" href="https://pregnancycarecanada.ca/becoming-an-unexpected-parent/">Read More…<span class="screen-reader-text"> from Becoming an Unexpected Parent</span></a></p>
February 2024 by Rebecca Peters Dear Daughter with an unexpected pregnancy, Although you are not my daughter, you are a daughter to someone, and although I am not your mother, I am a mother to three. And so, I am writing to you as if you were one of my three. If you were to […]<p><a class="btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link" href="https://pregnancycarecanada.ca/becoming-an-unexpected-parent/">Read More…<span class="screen-reader-text"> from Becoming an Unexpected Parent</span></a></p>
When someone says, “I’m pregnant,” our instinct is often to give advice or try to fix the situation. But what if the most important response is simply to listen? Learn practical ways to support someone facing an unexpected pregnancy with compassion and hope. […]<p><a class="btn btn-secondary understrap-read-more-link" href="https://pregnancycarecanada.ca/becoming-an-unexpected-parent/">Read More…<span class="screen-reader-text"> from Becoming an Unexpected Parent</span></a></p>
